I wonder if beyonce has a booking agent or just wakes up fully dressed and says ‘I will sing tonight’ to a terrified assistant
on resume: *says that i’m bilingual*
when talking to an older guy on grindr/etc., one of the easiest ways to see if theyre willing to spend money on you is to wait until they tell you to come over and just say you dont have money for gas
if they say something like “oh well. next time then” stop talking to their cheap ass but if they dont and offer to pay, its time to see how far you can go with it
*goes to england*
me: excuse me, what time is it?
brit: time wots that m8?
*big ben chimes*
everyone starts to count the bongs on their fingers*
brit: OI IT’S 7 BONG